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Spemin
The Spemin are a sentient (though just barely) race of amoeboids native to the Alpha Sector. Interstel Vice-Director Phexipotex once described Spemin as "an arrogant mass of slime". That particular statement is largely accurate, and generally reflects the attitude most sentient races have towards the Spemin (to be fair, they largely deserve it). First contact between the Old Empire and the Spemin was in 2675. At the time, the Spemin were in a pre-technological state. The Old Empire put a lot of effort into teaching the Spemin their science and technology, with the goal of making them a valued contributor to Imperial society (much like what they did with the Thrynn and the Elowan). In 2790 the Secret Society for Spemin Superiority (the SSSS) gained power on the Spemin homeworld of Spewta (α82x148, p1) and declared war on the Empire, attacking with the same technology the Empire had given them. The Empire largely ignored this declaration until the Spemin began raiding nearby unarmed colonies and commercial interests, at which point a Imperial task force was sent in for a counter-attack. This task force inadvertently managed to destroy the entire Spemin war fleet in the process. When the First Wave reached the Alpha Sector in the year 3000, the Spemin begged for protection from the approaching Numlox and Phlegmak fleets, which the Empire granted despite the earlier aggression. However, at the end of the First Wave (3260) the Spemin began commerce raiding once again. With the Empire in a weakened state it was some time before a task force could be spared to end the raiding. When the Second Wave began in 3400 the Spemin asked the Empire for protection again. The Empire flat out refused to protect the Spemin again owing to their earlier aggression. To preserve their race, the Spemin managed to trick the Gazurtoid into an alliance. The Spemin provided the invaders with intimate knowledge of Imperial technologies and locations of Imperial colonies. The Gazurtoid, for their part, kept the Spemin informed about the movements of the Uhlek, thus allowing the Spemin to stay out of their way. This kept the Spemin from being annihilated by the Uhlek when they passed through Spemin territory; they simply moved to stay out of the way. With the Empire gone, the Spemin expanded their sphere of influence, such that by the time Arth sent out its first interstellar expedition, the Spemin had one of the larger spheres of influence in the Alpha Sector. After the disappearance of the Uhlek, it was the Spemin who found the flux to the Delta Sector in 4635. They were largely welcomed by the other starfaring Delta Sector races right up until they discovered the wreck of the Elthar-Esh in 4637 and gained access to Leghk technology. This gave them genuine strength; overnight they went from being a general nuisance to a serious threat, which culmunated in an attempt to invade Arth in mid-4641. Though that effort ultimately failed specatcularly, the Spemin still remain a threat. As of 4642, they are one of a handful of races to have territorial holdings in both the Alpha and Delta Sectors. Basic Characteristics *''Type'': Amoeboid * Durability: 1 * Learning Rate: 3 *''Science: Poor *Navigation: Average *Engineering: Average *Communication: Poor *Medicine: Good * ''Genders: 1 * Life Stages: Adolescent at 5 months. Adult at 7 months. Middle age at 13 months. Old Age at 23 months. Venerable Age at 29 months. * Lifespan: 30 + 3d5 months. * Height: N/A (amorphous; volume is the individual's mass divided by 1000) * Mass: 12 kilograms (9 + (2d5 x 0.6) kilograms). *''Niche/Symmetry'': Amorphous Omnivorous Consumer *''Speed/Transit'': Pseudoped, 1 kph (2 m/rd) *''Volume'': 0.012 m^3 *''HD'': 51/45/51 *''HP'': 10 *''Unarmed Damage'':None *''STV'': 10 MU (800 MU/m^3) Physical Description Spemin are an omnivorous amoeboid race. Their bodies consist of three major parts: their body (which is unicellular) their eyes, and their antennae. Spemin are largely amorphous, though their eyes and antennae are comparatively rigid structures. Their outer body surface is a characteristic deep blue color and is covered with many lobopodia, which are used mainly for propulsion, as well as many axopodia for ingestion of nutrients. One of the lobopodia located on their anterior is larger and more tubular than the others, and is generally what Spemin are referring to when they mention their pseudopod (though technically all of their lopodia are pseudopodia). This lobopod, in addition to providing propulsion, gives the Spemin their motor abilities. Spemin feed by phagocytosis; when they find suitable material to ingest, they will wrap their bodies around it and use their axopodia to begin injestion. Spemin are capable of taking in small amounts of air through their axopodia, which they then forceably expell from their outer body wall. This generally produces sounds ranging from whines to something approaching flatulence, which Spemin use as a method of communication (the Thrynn call Spemin communication "disgusting"). Spemin have twelve large, simple eyes located on their outer body wall. Spemin are capable of physically relocating their eyes to various points on their body's surface, giving them a highly variable field of vision (a Spemin can theoretically have 360 degrees of vision, or a much narrower field if all twelve eyes are pointed in the same direction). Spemin have three antennae which are generally believed to be their auditory organs. Spemin have suggested that the only reason they have antennae is that they're stylish, though given their tendency to lie and given that they have these antennae their entire lives, the auditory organ explanation is more likely. As with their eyes, a Spemin may re-position these antennae to any point on their body's surface. The interior of a Spemin consists largely of cytoplasm, with several organelles for bodily functions. Surprisingly, Spemin do not have a nucleus, nor do any of the known organelles carry out cognitive functions. The location of the Spemin brain is unknown, even to the Spemin themselves. Despite this obvious disadvantage, the Spemin possess at least enough intelligence to plot and scheme, even if they can't do it well; they generally don't learn very quickly. Due to their body makeup, Spemin are delicate creatures that can't withstand very much punishment at all. Spemin reproduce asexually via budding. A genetic clone of the Spemin forms in its outer body wall, developing into a miniature clone of the adult. This process generally takes about two months to complete, after which the new Spemin is "born" simply by breaking off from the adult. An adult Spemin generally doesn't have more than a single offspring budding at any given time, though up to ten or more may be simultaneously budding on extremely rare occasions. Spemin bud until they reach their Venerable Age, when more of their life processes are needed simply to stay alive. Space Units Spemin Ship Concepts - February, 2011|{UP}Starflight3/Design Doc/concept_art_2010-01jan-30/sf3_concepts/Spemin_Ship_Concepts.png Spemin Frigate Spemin Transport Spemin Cruiser Spemin Heavy Frigate Spemin Heavy Cruiser Ground Units This gives a general listing of the vehicles available to the given race. Engaging the ground units of a species in combat will have the same general effect on the player's relations with the species as engaging their units in space. The mineral composition of ground units will be the same as that listed for space units, though the amounts will be somewhat lessened. Indication of "turrets" for a ground unit allow the unit to fire a weapon in any direction; otherwise, the unit must face their target before they may attack another unit. Ground units always include a very generic description of how the unit will appear. Ground Units in general use the same ratings as space units, but have a few additional properties as outlined below: * Still need a response on energy. **''Melee'': An attack that can only be delivered when that object's collision area is touching the collision area of its target. **''Flat'': The speed/efficiency the unit travels on flat land. **''Mount'': The speed/efficiency the unit travels on steep mountains. This will likely be determined by rapid changes in planetary elevation, though the exact amount of elevation change necessary has not yet been determined. **''Liquid'' The speed/efficiency the unit travels on a liquid surface (possibly also including ice and cooling lava.) No data at this time. Territory The rapid reproductive rate of the Spemin, coupled with their tendency to build barely functioning (key word: functioning) starships with ultra-cheap materials allowed the Spemin to expand rapidly after first contact with the Old Empire, ultimately leading to the establishment of one of the larger spheres of influence in the Sector, at one time consisting of 32 systems centered just downspin of their homeworld of Spewta. They shared borders with the Uhlek upspin and outward, the Gazurtoid downspin, and the Veloxi coreward; they thus remained hemmed in and unable to expand until after the disappearence of the Uhlek in 4620. The Spemin expanded upspin; this expansion led to the discovery of the Delta Sector Flux in 4634, leading to the Spemin's expansion into the Delta Sector. After their discovery of the Elthar-Esh derelict in 4637, the Spemin gained access to Leghk technology and began a "reign of terror" in both sectors. In the Delta Sector, the Spemin remained scattered throughout various points in the non-Cloud portions of the Delta Sector, ultimately "colonizing" (conquering) four worlds: Hooplah, Bemfblunk, the site of the Leghk Halls of Memory, and an old Leghk colony at δ60x156, p1. After their failed attempt to invade Arth in 4641, the Spemin lost most of their territorial holdings. As of 4642, Spemin territory in the Alpha Sector consists of just ten star systems centered around α72x133, just outward of the nearby stellar cluster. There are five small nebulae in this area (including the one that houses Spewta), as well as a flux intersection. The loss of their holdings in the Alpha Sector has resulted in their loss of control over the Delta Sector Flux. This has cut off their holdings in the Delta Sector from the rest of Spemin society. For now, the Spemin still maintain their hold on Hooplah and Bemfblunk, but without support and with almost every race in the Sector hacked off at them, it may be only a matter of time before the Spemin are forced to abandon those worlds entirely. *'Patrol': **''Alpha Sector'': Prominent **''Delta Sector'': Sporadic **''Beta Sector'': None *'Space': **''Alpha Sector'': centered at 72.24x132.60, 25.09 parsecs radius **''Delta Sector'': centered at 158x183, 15 parsecs radius; centered at 101x85, 10 parsecs radius **''Beta Sector'': No Sphere of Influence *'Star': **''Alpha Sector'': 58x124; 82x148; 94x118 ***''Specific Worlds'': 82x148, p1 (Fleet) **''Delta Sector'': 101x85; 158x183 ***''Specific Worlds'': None **''Beta Sector'': None *'Worlds': **''Alpha Sector'': Spewta (82x148, p1); Lupzus (78x123, p1) **''Delta Sector'': Hooplah (101x85, p1); Bemfblunk (158x183, p2) **''Beta Sector'': None Status To put it simply, the Spemin are generally disliked by every almost race in both the Alpha Sector and the Delta Sector, largely due to their own actions (not to mention their oh so charming personality). They are known to be liars and manipulators. None of the Alpha Sector races speak well of the Spemin. The only race in the Alpha Sector that does tolerate the Spemin is the Gazurtoid, and that's only because the Gazurtoid believe the Spemin to be kindred water breathers. Its unknown what the Gazurtoid really think of the Spemin, as they don't mention them in any of their communications. What would happen were they to learn the truth is a matter of conjecture (though it would almost assuredly be extremely violent for both sides). Because of their predation on shipping in the Delta Sector (in particular the theft of Shyneum from passing ships), almost none of the Delta Sector races like the Spemin either. The invasion of Hooplah (δ105x85, p1) irritated the Humna Humna, who in the years since the failed invasion of Arth have refused all trade to the Spemin (a strong statement, given their fondness for trade). The Umanu likewise dislike the Spemin, mainly because they remember their betrayals of the Old Empire. It's likely the Umanu will be at the forefront of any future effort to remove them completely from the sector. Even with their defeat, the Spemin still prey upon the Dweenle whenever possible; this of course does nothing for Dweenle self-esteem. Again, a single starfaring race in the sector tolerates the Spemin: the G'Nunk. The Spemin are one of the few races that have obtained G'Nasch status, though with their natural cowardice and their recent defeat it's uncertain how long they'll maintain that status. For their part, the Spemin see themselves as being unjustly picked on by the other races. *'Ally': **''Initial'': Gazurtoid, G'Nunk **''Final'': No Data at this time *'Enemy': Empire, Elowan, Thrynn, Veloxi, Tandelou, Dweenle, Humna Humna, Ng-Kher-Arla, Ch-Q-Tss-T, Dershetche **''Inital'': None **''Final'': No Data at this time Economy *'Economic Status Levels': **''Spewta'': Depressed (Non-Trading) **''Lupzus'': Depressed (Non-Trading) **''Hooplah'': Depressed (Non-Trading) **''Bemfblunk'': Depressed (Non-Trading) *'Specialty Trade Goods Purchased': **None *'Specialty Trade Goods Sold': **None Supplemental Information Spemin are typically very arrogant. They have an inflated view of their own self worth and see themselves as being superior to all of the other species. Ostensibly, this is because none of the other races can do what the Spemin do (secrete ooze, bounce younglings on their pseudopod, etc.). Despite the views of many of the other races, the Spemin aren't completely stupid. They will try to deceive anyone even if the situation doesn't truly warrant it. Many times these efforts aren't even marginally successful (they once claimed that they were the real inventors of the Leghk technology seen on their ships after 4637, and later claimed that they took the technology after a fierce battle and cited the hulk of the Elthar-Esh as proof). Other times, they are fantastically successful (simply by sitting in pools of water while communicating, the Spemin were able to dupe the Gazurtoid into thinking they were a water-breathing race, resulting in their alliance). Another, perhaps more sobering ruse, was their ability to gain Imperial protection from the races of the First Wave. While stroking their ego appeases the Spemin, it doesn't diminish their arrogance; if anything, it heightens it. Spemin bravado, conceit, and deceit usually evaporate after any perceived advantage they have disappears, which in space encounters generally occurs after most of their ships involved are destroyed (this remained true even after they gained access to Leghk technology). Once willing to tell the truth, the Spemin have proven to be a valuable source of important information in the past. It was they that provided Interstel with the correct location of the Uhlek Brain World, the coordinates to a flux chain that lead deep into Uhlek territory, and (unwittingly) the coordinates of the Delta Sector Flux. Finally, Spemin have a tendency to mimic others, particularly those they realize are genuinely stronger than themselves (Spemin starships are supposed to be copies of Gazurtoid ships, though there isn't even a superficial resemblance). Spemin will leave their territory to discover new ideas and technologies, so that they can come back and make crappy copies of them for the rest of their species. For all their bluster and manipulation, the Spemin seem to be focused on one thing, and that's simply survival. It's true that they aren't in any great danger of going extinct anytime soon (depending on who is asked), but the basic functions of survival are so ingrained into the Spemin psyche that it explains many of their actions and attitudes (their highest religious command is "Divide and Multiply"). Spemin will do what it takes to ensure they can do that for as long as possible. That means finding resources and having space to expand into, which as history teaches, generally means an insatiable desire for conquest. They have the means to conquer. If they ever develop the spine for conquest as well, the other races might have something to be genuinely concerned about... Importance The Spemin play several roles in the game. First, they have a diverse space fleet, with ships of both extraordinary strength and extraordinary weakness, with little way of telling which is which. They thus have the capability to act as pirates in-game and serve as a navigational hazard. They are a generally hostile race, which the player can attempt to beat up with little concern for their reputation. Their biggest role in the game (assuming no changes to the Alpha Sector plot) is their possession of the Power Module of the Seeayti Detector, a mission-critical artifact. Retrieval of this artifact will require extensive interaction with the Spemin. Communication Text This is text from the old games. The Spemin are unique in that they appeared in both of the original games. As a result, they have more pre-existing comm text than any other race. This could make them invaluable when the time comes to being evaluating comm texts for SF3's communications system. Messages for the Spemin will be divvied up by the source game. SF2 Hails/Responses (Neutral) *AH, CAN IT BE? THE INTERSTEL SHIP, THE (PLAYER'S SHIP NAME)? PERHAPS YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE US. WE ARE OF COURSE YOUR OLD FRIENDS, THE SPEMIN. I AM TOUCHED THAT YOU HAVE RETURNED TO APOLOGIZE AND DEBASE YOURSELF. WE ARE A FORGIVING PEOPLE. WE HEREBY ACCEPT YOUR IMMEDIATE SURRENDER. *WE ARE YOUR SPEMIN MASTERS. DROP YOUR SHIELDS AND DISARM YOUR WEAPONS TO DEMONSTRATE YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS. IN FACT, SURRENDER YOUR SHIP AND PROSTRATE YOURSELVES BEFORE US TO DEMONSTRATE YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS. *SURRENDER, PITIFUL CREATURES, LEST I STRIKE FEAR INTO YOUR HEARTS BY TELLING YOU THAT YOU FACE THE SPEMIN GODS! I SHALL GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF 5 AND THEN....MAKE THAT 3. YES, I SHALL GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF 3. NOT THAT I COULDN'T COUNT TO 5, BECAUSE I COULD. I JUST PREFER 3. ANYWAY, SURRENDER NOW! *ONCE AGAIN WE MEET, HEINOUS SKELETOIDS. I AM (NAME) OF THE FAMOUS SECRET DEATH FLEET OF THE SPEMIN LORDS. ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE OUR VASTLY SUPERIOR WEAPONRY. PLEASE DO NOT INCONVENIENCE ME BY MOVING AROUND. *WE ARE THE TRULY AWESOME SPEMIN! HOW FORTUNATE THAT WE SHOULD ONCE AGAIN RUN INTO EACH OTHER, CAPTAIN (PLAYER'S CAPTAIN'S NAME). WE WERE STARTING TO RUN A LITTLE LOW ON OUR SHYNEUM SUPPLY. SUPPLICATIONS OF GREAT SINCERITY WOULD BE APPROPRIATE AT THIS TIME. *GREETINGS, LONG TIME FRIENDS OF THE SPEMIN! SHALL WE ONCE AGAIN ENGAGE IN THAT MEANINGLESS BANTER THAT FRIENDS OFTEN ENGAGE IN, AND OF COURSE SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY? OR PERHAPS MORE OF THE SYMBOLIC FIRING OF WEAPONS WHICH WE SPEMIN USE TO SALUTE THOSE WHOM WE ADMIRE? *'GREETINGS, BROTHER G'NUNK. YOU HAVE RESPONDED WELL TO THE TEST. YOU HAVE PROVEN THAT YOU ARE STRONG. NOW YOU MUST IMMEDIATELY GO AND ATTACK OTHERS. MAKE HASTE AND LEAVE AT ONCE! WE SHALL MEET AGAIN! ' ??? *YES, COMMANDER (PLAYER'S CAPTAIN'S NAME), WE RECOGNIZED YOUR AMUSING LITTLE SHIP. GROVEL BEFORE US IF YOU MUST, BUT DO NOT TAKE UP TOO MUCH OF OUR TIME. Terminate Communications (Neutral) *AND NOW I AM TIRED AFTER ALL I HAVE BEEN THROUGH. OF COURSE, THIS IS UNIMPORTANT. MY ONLY WISH IS TO PLEASE YOUR GREATNESS, BUT NOW I FEAR I MUST DEPART. FAREWELL, GOOD FRIEND. *ENOUGH TALKING. I AM BORED. DO NOT FEAR. YOU SHALL SOON HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO GROVEL AGAIN BEFORE YOUR SPEMIN MASTERS. *OH. HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN. I AM LATE FOR AN APPOINTMENT. WELL, I SHALL JUST DESTROY YOU AND BE ON MY WAY. *PERHAPS IT IS TIME FOR A LITTLE LESSON IN MANNERS. STAY RIGHT THERE AND LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY. *ENOUGH! PREPARE TO DIE, HEINOUS SKELETOID DOGS! Terminate Communications (Hostile/Obsequious) *AND NOW I AM TIRED AFTER ALL I HAVE BEEN THROUGH. OF COURSE, THIS IS UNIMPORTANT. MY ONLY WISH IS TO PLEASE YOUR GREATNESS, BUT NOW I FEAR I MUST DEPART. FAREWELL, GOOD FRIEND. Statements (Neutral) *PERHAPS YOU DO NOT COMPREHEND. WE ARE THE SPEMIN! AH, BUT PERHAPS YOU ARE IMMOBILIZED BY FEAR. NEVERTHELESS, YOU MUST SUBMIT IN A CUSTOMARY FASHION AT ONCE OR BE THOROUGHLY AND COMPLETELY ANNIHILATED. *DO NOT FEAR. WE TREAT ALL OF OUR SLAVES REASONABLY WELL. IN FACT, ALL THAT WE WOULD REQUIRE AT THIS TIME IS AN ALMOST NEGLIGIBLE TRIBUTE OF SHYNEUM. IT IS THIS OR TOTAL OBLITERATION. MAKE YOUR CHOICE. WE SHALL WAIT. *ANY MOMENT NOW, YOU WILL BEGIN TO BEG FOR MERCY. SUCH A PITIFUL SIGHT. A SPEMIN WOULD NEVER BEG FOR MERCY. HE WOULD RATHER FIGHT TO A GLORIOUS DEATH. GO AHEAD, SLIMELESS MONSTERS, BEG YOUR SPEMIN MASTERS. *CONSIDER THAT WE COULD EASILY HAVE DESTROYED YOU ALREADY. WHY HAVE WE NOT? CLEARLY IT IS BECAUSE WE ARE BENEVOLENT AND WISE. SURRENDER NOW AND WE SHALL NOT BE FORCED INTO DESTROYING YOU. *YOU ARE WISE NOT TO ANTAGONIZE THE SPEMIN GODS. OUR TEMPER IS QUICK AND OUR WRATH SEVERE. IF YOU WISH TO PRAISE US, YOU MAY DO SO. *DOES THE TINY TEELVEEAN PUSS WORM ANTAGONIZE THE MIGHTY DESERT BEHEMOTH OF DELTAROUS 4? OF COURSE NOT. AND WHY? BECAUSE THEY ARE IN DIFFERENT STAR SYSTEMS. NEVERTHELESS, IT IS NOT WISE FOR YOU TO ANTAGONIZE US. SURRENDER NOW TO YOUR SPEMIN MASTERS. THIS IS YOUR FINAL CHANCE. *EVEN NOW I AM ON THE VERGE OF ATTACKING WITH UNSTOPPABLE FORCE. MY PSEUDOPOD HOVERS, POISED OVER THE LEVER THAT WILL UNLEASH UNIMAGINABLE ENERGIES OF INCREDIBLE DESTRUCTIVE POWER UPON YOUR DEFENSELESS VESSEL. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? *IN THE PAST, YOUR KIND HAS TERRORIZED US INNOCENT SPEMIN, WHO HAVE WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN TO LIVE PEACEFULLY, SHARING OUR WEALTH AND OUR HAPPINESS WITH OTHERS. NOW, YOU COME GROVELING BACK TO US, PITIFUL AND WEAK. IT IS FORTUNATE FOR YOU THAT WE ARE SUCH A KIND AND NOBLE RACE. *IS IT NO WONDER THAT YOU WORSHIP US? YOUR DRY, UPRIGHT FORMS, LACKING PSEUDOPODS OF ANY TYPE, ARE CLEARLY REPULSIVE. YOUR LACK OF SUCKING AND SQUISHING SOUNDS IS PATHETIC, AND YOUR BODIES BARELY OOZE AT ALL. PERHAPS IF YOU JUST TRIED HARDER. *NOTICE HOW I TOY MERCILESSLY WITH YOU. THIS IS THE WAY OF THE SPEMIN. AT ANY MINUTE, I COULD CHOOSE TO DESTROY YOU. SUCH IS THE NATURE OF TRUE POWER. NOTICE ALSO, HOW I REMAIN UNCORRUPTED BY THE POWER, ALOOF AND YET LIKEABLE. *DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRICK ME INTO GIVING AWAY ANY INFORMATION. YOU COULD NOT HOPE TO ENGAGE A SPEMIN IN A BATTLE OF WITS. WE ARE MASTERS OF CUNNING DECEPTION, VIRTUOSOS OF ARTFUL MANIPULATIONS , EXPERTS OF CRAFTY SUBTERFUGE. *HA HA! I AM INVINCIBLE! I AM IMMORTAL!!! YOU ARE IMPRESSED BY OUR NEW TECHNOLOGY!! LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT WE HAD IT ALL ALONG, AND AT ANY MOMENT COULD HAVE DESTROYED YOU. YOU ARE LUCKY THAT WE HAVE BEEN SO PATIENT UNTIL NOW. *ACTUALLY, I AM THE ONE WHO INVENTED THE NEW TECHNOLOGY. YES, I, COMMANDER (NAME), INVENTED IT ALL. THERE, THE SECRET IS OUT. IT WAS MY GENIUS. IT WASN'T SO DIFFICULT, REALLY. I JUST THREW SOME THINGS TOGETHER AND THERE IT WAS. *PERHAPS IF YOU WERE TO BEG AND GROVEL, I MIGHT BE INCLINED TO TELL YOU THE REAL, TRUE SOURCE OF OUR INVINCIBLE TECHNOLOGY. IN ANY EVENT, BEGGING WOULD SUIT YOU BETTER. *YOUR INSANE DESIRE TO PROVOKE US BY NOT ADOPTING AN APPROPRIATELY SUBSERVIENT ATTITUDE IS CLEARLY PROOF OF YOUR SUBSENTIENCE. IF YOU ARE UNINTELLIGENT ANIMALS, THOUGH, THE QUESTION OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING FLYING AROUND IN SPACESHIPS AND USING SOPHISTICATED ELECTRONICS REMAINS A PUZZLING ONE. *DID I ALREADY MENTION THAT WE ARE THE ALMIGHTY AND ALL POWERFUL SPEMIN? *I TIRE OF THIS! NOW I SHALL DEMONSTRATE THE FRIGHTENING MIGHT OF THE SPEMIN WAR FLEET. NOTICE HOW I HOLD MY ANTENNAE IN A THREATENING MANNER AND GAZE INTENTLY. NOW I UTTER THE WAR CRY OF 'DURTBLORT GURGLE GURGLE,' AND ATTACK SWIFTLY ... *YOU HAVE HEARD OF THE GAZURTOID? THEY ARE WHINING COWARDS. THE G'NUNK? SPINELESS TOADS. THE UHLEK? WHIMPERING WEAKLINGS. THE UMANU? COWERING MASSES OF INEFFECTUAL JELLY. IT IS WE WHO ARE THE SUPREME MASTERS OF THE COSMOS. WE GO WHERE WE PLEASE AND TAKE WHAT WE WANT. *I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. DID THEY FIRE 6 PLASMA BOLTS, OR ONLY 5? TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, IN ALL THIS EXCITEMENT I'VE KIND OF LOST TRACK MYSELF. BUT SEEING AS THIS IS A SPEMIN WARSHIP, THE MOST POWERFUL SHIP IN THE COSMOS, YOU'VE GOT TO ASK YOURSELF ONE QUESTION -- DO YOU FEEL LUCKY? *IS THIS HOW YOU BEG FOR INFORMATION? YOU DO NOT EVEN BEG WELL. *YOU DARE TO ASK US QUESTIONS? YOUR IMPUDENCE IS EQUALLED ONLY BY YOUR STUPIDITY. OF COURSE, IF YOU WERE TO DEMONSTRATE A RESPECTFUL ATTITUDE, WE MIGHT CONSIDER GRACING YOU WITH SOME OF OUR BOUNDLESS WISDOM. Statements (Hostile) *WE APOLOGIZE IF YOU DID NOT FIND OUR JOKES ABOUT DESTROYING YOU HUMOROUS. I MUST CHASTISE THAT COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER OF MINE. *HA. HA. THE FUNNY JOKE IS OVER. EVEN NOW THE PLANS FOR THE NEW TECHNOLOGY SHOULD BE ARRIVING IN THE HOMES OF YOUR MOST FAMOUS SCIENTISTS. I GUESS YOU REALLY THOUGHT WE WOULD KEEP IT FOR OURSELVES, DIDN'T YOU? SHAME ON YOU. *PLEASE UNDERSTAND. IT WAS ALL PEER PRESSURE. I NEVER WANTED TO SHOOT YOU. THE OTHER SPEMIN SAID I HAD TO. THOSE BAD SPEMIN. I WILL NEVER TALK TO THEM AGAIN. *OH, YOUR SPECIES IS SO KIND AND JUST. JUST THIS MORNING, I WAS TELLING SOME OTHER SPEMIN HOW YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN SHOOTING AT ANOTHER SHIP AFTER IT HAS SURRENDERED. I THINK THAT IS WONDERFUL. YOU ARE TRULY A GREAT SPECIES. *PERHAPS THERE IS SOME OTHER INFORMATION WE COULD GIVE YOU. WOULD YOU LIKE ANY SECRET INFORMATION? WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TELL YOU THE LOCATION OF OUR SECRET PLANET, BEMFBLUNK? WOULD YOU LIKE SOME OF THE OTHER MEMBERS OF MY CREW TO TORTURE? ANYTHING. *WAIT. IN A FLASH OF INSIGHT, I NOW SEE THAT THE PAST MEANS NOTHING. IT IS THE FUTURE THAT IS IMPORTANT. WHO CARES WHO SHOT AT WHOM IN THE PAST. THIS IS NOT IMPORTANT. WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THE FUTURE, AND THAT I WILL CONTINUE TO BE IN IT. Demand Tribute *TO HELP YOU OVERCOME YOUR GUILT FOR WRONGFULLY MISTREATING OUR GREAT SPEMIN ANCESTORS, WE DEMAND A PAYMENT OF 1/X OF YOUR SHYNEUM. DO YOU AGREE? (ANSWERING 'NO' ENDS COMMUNICATIONS AND LEADS TO AN ATTACK.) *SHYNEUM EXCHANGED (AFTER ANSWERING 'YES'.) Themselves (Neutral) *YOU WONDER, PERHAPS, WHERE WE GET ALL OF OUR SHYNEUM FROM. WELL, THE OTHER RACES SEEK TO CURRY OUR FAVOR, JUST AS YOU DO. OFTEN OUR SHIPS, WHICH TRAVEL THE SPACE LANES MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS, ARE APPROACHED BY ALIEN SHIPS, JUST LIKE YOURS, WHICH WISH TO PRESENT US WITH TRIBUTE AND ADULATION. IT CAN BE SOMEWHAT TIRESOME. *AS TO THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF THE SHYNEUM, I AM NOT AT LIBERTY TO SAY. LET'S JUST SAY THAT A CERTAIN SPEMIN CAPTAIN HAPPENS TO OWN LARGE AMOUNTS OF PROPERTY ON A CERTAIN PLANET WHERE A CERTAIN MINERAL IS MINED. I THINK WE BOTH KNOW WHAT I MEAN. *AHA! I SEE THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO TRICK ME INTO TELLING YOU THE SECRET LOCATION OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING, WHICH WE STOLE FROM THE INCREDIBLY STUPID TANDELOU. ONCE MORE, YOU UNDERESTIMATE THE MIND OF A SPEMIN. THE PLANETARY COORDINATES 31S X 39W , OF THE PLANET BEMFBLUNK, ARE LOCKED FOREVER IN THE STEEL VAULT OF MY MIND. YOU WILL NEVER DISCOVER THEM. *PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO EXPLAIN TO YOU THE TRUTH BEHIND WHERE OUR NEW TECHNOLOGY CAME FROM. I WOULD BE HAPPY TO DO SO. AS IT SO HAPPENS, A VAST METAMORPHOSIS WAS TRIGGERED IN OUR SPECIES WHEN WE ENTERED THIS REGION OF SPACE, AND OUR INTELLIGENCE JUMPED FROM GENIUS TO SUPER GENIUS. THUS, WE INVENTED THE TECHNOLOGY. *WAIT! I REMEMBER NOW WHAT THE REAL SOURCE OF THE NEW TECHNOLOGY IS. THERE WAS A PITCHED BATTLE WITH A FIERCE ALIEN RACE. YES, THAT'S IT. IT LASTED 47 DAYS AND NIGHTS, AND FINALLY WE VANQUISHED THE FOE AND TOOK THE TECHNOLOGY. YES. IN FACT, THE HULK OF THE VANQUISHED SHIP IN THE SYSTEM 198, 154 IS PROOF OF THIS GREAT BATTLE. *I MIGHT MENTION THAT, AS A SLAVE RACE OF OURS, ALL OF YOUR BELONGINGS NATURALLY NOW BELONG TO US. THIS, OF COURSE, INCLUDES ANY ARTIFACTS THAT YOU MAY HAPPEN TO POSSESS. I HOPE THIS DOES NOT COME AS A SURPRISE TO YOU. Themselves (Hostile) *ALRIGHT, I CONFESS. IT WAS WE SPEMIN WHO TOOK THE MOST VALUABLE THING FROM THE TANDELOU. I HANG MY ANTENNAE IN SHAME. *O.K., YOU'VE FORCED THE INFORMATION OUT OF ME. THE MOST VALUABLE THING WAS TAKEN TO OUR PLANET BEMFBLUNK IN THE SYSTEM 158, 183. I HAVE HEARD, THOUGH, THAT OUR WISE SPEMIN LEADERS SOLD IT TO THE G'NUNK WHEN THEY DISCOVERED IT WAS ONLY A WORTHLESS HUNK OF GREEN GLASS. OF COURSE, I SUSPECTED AS MUCH ALL ALONG. *PLEASE, I BEG YOU, I GROVEL, I PLEAD. DO NOT ASK ME TO BETRAY MY BLOB BROTHERS AND REVEAL THE TRUE SOURCE OF OUR TECHNOLOGY. I HAVE SWORN A SOLEMN OATH THAT I WOULD SOONER DIE A HORRIBLE AND PAINFUL DEATH. A SPEMIN NEVER BREAKS A BLOB OATH. WE ARE PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO, IN FACT. *WELL, O.K., I GUESS I CAN TELL YOU, SINCE YOU ARE A FRIEND. WE PICKED UP OUR TECHNOLOGY FROM A DATA CUBE WHICH WE FOUND ON A DERELICT SHIP ORBITING A PLANET IN THE SYSTEM 198, 154. AS I SAID, I ONLY TELL YOU THIS BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND, BUT PERHAPS YOU WOULD WISH TO GIVE A GOOD FRIEND A SMALL GRATUITY FOR BEING SO HELPFUL. *MORE INFORMATION? YES, WELL, UM, PERHAPS YOU WONDER ABOUT SHYNEUM. ALL WE KNOW IS THAT IT ORIGINATES ON A PLANET SOMEWHERE IN THE CLOUD. OF COURSE, WE HAVE BEEN PREPARING TO DO AN EXHAUSTIVE SEARCH AS SOON AS WE WIPE OUT THE UMANU. I PROMISE THAT, AFTER WE FIND THE PLANET, I WILL BRING YOU SOME SHYNEUM. Any Other Topic (Neutral) *WHY DO YOU ASK US ABOUT THIS, WHEN IT IS CLEAR THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IS OUR GREAT SPEMIN RACE? DO NOT BE ASHAMED TO ASK. Any Other Topic (Hostile) *PLEASE, YOUR GREAT WONDERFULNESS, I'M AFRAID MY KNOWLEDGE IS LIMITED ONLY TO MATTERS CONCERNING OUR PITIFUL SPEMIN SPECIES. *ANYWAY, HOW COULD I HOPE TO TELL YOUR MAGNIFICENCE ANYTHING YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW? RATHER TAKE PITY ON ME, ONE WHO NEVER MEANT ANYONE ANY HARM. SF1 Neutral hail request: *HALT ALIENS. DEACTIVATE ALL SHIELDS AND WEAPONS IMMEDIATELY LEST WE UNLEASH THE AWESOME DESTRUCTIVE FORCE OF OUR MIGHTY VESSELS. RESPOND AT ONCE TO SHOW YOUR SUBMISSION. *YOU HAVE COME TO PAY YOUR RESPECTS AND GROVEL BEFORE YOUR SPEMIN MASTERS. YOU ARE AFRAID NOW, AND RIGHTLY SO. YOU WILL IDENTIFY YOURSELVES AT ONCE. *SO, ONCE AGAIN THE PITIFUL TWO-EYED SLIMELESS ALIEN MONSTERS BEG THE ALL-POWERFUL SPEMIN FOR MERCY. THIS DOES NOT SURPRISE US. *SO, WE MEET ONCE AGAIN, HEINOUS SKELETOIDS. THIS TIME YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR FOOLISHNESS. PRAY TO YOUR FALSE GODS, NOT EVEN THE GREAT BLOB GODDESS CAN SAVE YOU NOW. *IF YOU HAVE COME ONCE MORE TO BEG THE MIGHTY SPEMIN TO PROTECT THE HUMAN EMPIRE WE CANNOT BE BOTHERED. IN FACT, WE CANNOT BE BOTHERED WITH YOU. IN FACT, YOUR ENTIRE RACE IS AN IRRITATION. *WE ARE THE FRIGHTENINGLY AWESOME SPEMIN, MASTERS OF THE GALAXY, LORDS OF THE UNIVERSE, ALL-POWERFUL BEINGS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION. TREMBLE BEFORE US. IDENTIFY YOURSELVES, SUBCREATURES. *I AM HIGH GRAND MASTER SUPREME CAPTAIN (NAME), COMMANDER EXTRAORDINAIRE OF THE DELUXE INTERSTELLAR HYPERDRIVE SPEMIN CRUISE-SHIP (SHIP NAME). WE ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS THE TERMS OF YOUR SURRENDER. *IT IS USELESS TO PRETEND THAT YOU ARE NOT AFRAID OF US. WE ARE THE DEATH-DEALING SPEMIN, AND I AM THE FAMOUS FORMIDABLE CAPTAIN (NAME). DOUBTLESS YOU HAVE HEARD OF ME. YOU MASK YOUR FEAR WELL, BUT NOT WELL ENOUGH. *NOTICE HOW WE TOY MERCILESSLY WITH YOU. THIS IS THE FATE OF ALL WHO OPPOSE THE SPEMIN. PREPARE FOR OUR UNSTOPPABLE ATTACK. *IT IS TOO LATE FOR YOU TO BEG FOR MERCY. I, HIGH COMMANDER (NAME) OF THE SECRET SPEMIN DEATH FLEET SHALL OOZE DOWN AND ABSORB YOU LIKE SO MUCH FOOD SUBSTANCE. *SO, YOU WISH US TO IDENTIFY OURSELVES. DO YOU THINK US FOOLS? IT IS TO OUR ADVANTAGE TO KEEP YOU GUESSING. PERHAPS WE ARE UHLEK, PERHAPS WE ARE GAZURTOID. WE ARE SIMPLY TOO CLEVER FOR YOU. *SO, THE SKELETOIDS BEG US FOR MERCY. NOW WE SEE WHO IS VASTLY SUPERIOR AND WHO IS WRETCHED SCUM. OF COURSE YOUR RACE HAS NO PRIDE. *YOUR RACE AGAIN DEMONSTRATES THIS INSANE NEED TO ANNIHILATE ITSELF. IN A MOMENT WE SHALL USE OUR SECRET WEAPON AND YOU SHALL BECOME AN EXAMPLE TO THE GALAXY. *PREPARE FOR EXCRUCIATING PAIN, UNBEARABLE AGONY, THE MOST HORRIBLE OF DEATHS, THE MOST UNIMAGINABLE TORTURE. ANY MOMENT NOW WE SHALL ATTACK. Neutral Statement: *CONTRARY TO WHAT THE OTHER RACES IN THE GALAXY SAY ABOUT US SPEMIN, WE ARE NOT GODS. OF COURSE, IT IS EASY TO SEE WHY YOU THINK WE ARE. *SO, YOU WISH TO PRAISE US. THIS IS ACCEPTABLE. YOU MAY CONTINUE TO DO SO. *I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE HEARD OF ME BEFORE, HMMMMM? *IT IS FORTUNATE THAT YOU RECOGNIZE THE VAST SUPERIORITY OF YOUR SPEMIN MASTERS. THAT IS TO SAY, US. WE SHALL SPARE YOU THIS TIME. PERHAPS. *WE ARE THE LANCING, KILLING PSEUDOPOD OF DOOM. WE OFFER YOU THIS CHOICE - YOU WILL OBEY US OR YOU WILL CEASE TO EXIST. *SO, VILE AND DISGUSTINGLY UPRIGHT CREATURES, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT YOU WISH TO SURRENDER NOW. YOU MAY DO SO, AND THEN WE WILL CONSIDER NOT DESTROYING YOU. *DO NOT TRY TO RUN AWAY, INFERIOR CREATURES. SURRENDER TO US AND WE SHALL KILL YOU SWIFTLY AND PAINLESSLY. *IT IS PLAIN THAT YOU ARE TERRIFIED OF US. IN FACT, YOU WISH TO BEG US NOT TO HARM YOU. IS THIS NOT SO? *WE SHALL GIVE YOU ONE MORE CHANCE TO SURRENDER YOUR PUNY SHIP. *AT ANY MOMENT AN ENTIRE FLEET OF ELITE SPEMIN WARSHIPS SHALL ARRIVE. THIS PROBABLY FRIGHTENS YOU AND YOU WISH TO COOPERATE. Neutral Question: *YOU ARE ENVIOUS OF US AND YOU HAVE COME TO LEARN FROM THE SPEMIN MASTERS. IS THIS NOT TRUE? *YOU MUST DEMONSTRATE YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS BY DROPPING ANY SHIELDS AND DISARMING ANY WEAPONS. WILL YOU DO THIS? Neutral goodbye statement: *ENOUGH JABBERING. IT IS TIME FOR A GLORIOUS SPEMIN VICTORY! *WE HAVE WASTED TOO MUCH TIME. BE GONE SCUM. Hostile/obsequious hail request: (AFTER SOME OF THEIR SHIPS ARE DESTROYED, THE SPEMIN WILL ACT COWARDLY) *OH, MOST FORTUNATE OF OCCURRENCES! THE RETURN OF THE SUPREME BEINGS. WE LAY DOWN OUR POWERFUL DEFENSIVE SCREENS TO SHOW YOU OUR GOOD INTENTIONS. *GREETINGS, MIGHTY AND POWERFUL ALLIES OF THE ALSO MIGHTY AND POWERFUL SPEMIN. WE ARE BOTH MIGHTY AND POWERFUL. IS IT NOT A GOOD THING THAT WE ARE THE BEST OF BUDDIES WHO WOULD NEVER HARM EACH OTHER? *WE SURRENDER! WE SURRENDER! PLEASE DO NOT HURT US. WE WILL DO ANYTHING. ANYTHING! DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE SECRET LOCATION OF OUR HOME PLANET? IT IS AT 82, 148. DESTROY THE OTHER SPEMIN SHIPS BUT SPARE US, PLEASE! *OF COURSE WE WERE JUST JOKING ABOUT BLOWING YOU TO PIECES. SMERG SMERG SMERG, ISN’T THAT A FUNNY JOKE? *PLEEEAAAASE DON’T HURT US, OH GREATEST OF SPECIES. PLEEEAAAAASE! THINK OF OUR WIVES AND LITTLE BLOBBIES BACK HOME. *OH! FLASH OF INSPIRATION! WE NOW SEE THAT YOU ARE RIGHT AND WE ARE WRONG. SPEMIN ARE BAD, BAD! THANK GOODNESS WE HAVE SEEN THIS IN TIME. NOW WE CAN BE FRIENDS. *THIS IS CAPTAIN (NAME) OF THE SPEMIN SHIP (SHIP NAME). WE ARE ON A PEACEFUL MISSION. WE ARE BRINGING FOOD TO HOMELESS, STARVING YOUNG SKELETOIDS OF YOUR KIND. FOR THEIR SAKE, PLEASE DO NOT HARM US. *WE SURRENDER! YOUR RACE IS WISE AND KIND AND GOOD AND NICE. WE SPEMIN ARE SORRY FOR ALL THE BAD THINGS WE HAVE DONE. WE PROMISE NEVER TO BE BAD AGAIN. *WE SURRENDER! DO NOT DESTROY US AND WE WILL GIVE YOU A WONDERFUL GIFT. Hostile/obsequious question: *WE BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE TRULY A KIND AND PEACEFUL RACE WHO WOULD NOT REALLY HARM US. THIS IS TRUE ISN’T IT? *WE WOULD NOT HOLD IT AGAINST YOU FOR WE UNDERSTAND THE NECESSITIES OF SELF-DEFENSE, CAPTAIN (NAME); WE SIMPLY WISH TO KNOW - HAVE YOU BATTLED SPEMIN SHIPS BEFORE? *WHAT IS THE REAL REASON YOU HAVE COME HERE? WAS IT AS SPIES AND ASSASSINS? TO PILLAGE AND KILL AND DESTROY? Hostile/obsequious farewell statement: *WE MUST GO NOW BUT WE HAVE ENJOYED CHATTING WITH YOU. DROP BY AGAIN SOMETIME. *WE MUST LEAVE NOW SO THAT WE CAN GO AND SPREAD WORD OF YOUR GREATNESS AMONG OUR SPEMIN BROTHERS. FAREWELL GOOD FRIENDS. *YOU MAY GO. Home world statement: *YOU DARE TO APPROACH THE HOMEWORLD OF THE MIGHTY SPEMIN? SUCH AUDACITY! SUCH PRESUMPTION! SUCH GALL! PREPARE TO RECEIVE YOUR FINAL LESSON IN MANNERS. *ONCE AGAIN YOU SURPRISE US WITH YOUR UNSURPASSED IDIOCY. PERHAPS YOU THINK WE WOULD NOT MIND YOU APPROACHING OUR HOMEWORLD. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR OUR WARM WELCOME. *YOU INSIST ON TESTING THE DEFENSES OF THE SPEMIN HOMEWORLD? YOU WASTE OUR VALUABLE TIME, BUT SINCE YOU TRAVELLED ALL THIS WAY, WE SHALL OBLIGE YOU WITH OUR SWIFT AND SUDDEN ATTACK! (For all other message categories, all-caps represent a Neutral posture, sentence case represents an Obsequious posture). Themselves: *YOU WISH TO KNOW ABOUT THE MIGHTLY SPEMIN? DROP YOUR DEFENSES AND WE SHALL TEACH YOU. *YOU SHALL SOON LEARN MORE THAN YOU WOULD CARE TO KNOW ABOUT THE ALMIGHTY SPEMIN. *VERY WELL, WE ARE THE OLDEST RACE AND THE YOUNGEST, THE WISEST AND THE MOST INNOCENT, THE STRONGEST AND THE WEAKEST. WE ARE ALSO THE MOST CLEVER. WE ARE, IN FACT, SO CLEVER THAT EVEN WE CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT WE SAY. *IT IS UNDERSTANDABLE THAT YOU WISH TO LEARN ABOUT US. ALL OF THE RACES IN THE GALAXY ENVY AND ADMIRE US AS YOU DO. *WE ARE THE CHOSEN BLOBS, CHILDREN OF THE GREAT BLOB GODDESS, GERTBLUNK. UNTO US SHE SPEWS HER LOVE IN NEVER ENDING CHUNKS. *THE BLOB GODDESS HAS ORDAINED THAT WE SHALL RULE ALL INFERIOR BEINGS. YOU HAVE FEWER THAN SEVEN EYES. YOU CANNOT OOZE. YOU LACK THE MOST RUDIMENTARY SLIME. YOU ARE CLEARLY INFERIOR BEINGS. *AMONG US THER IS A SAYING - MORE SPEMIN . . . GOOD, FEWER SPEMIN . . . BAD. OF COURSE WE REPRODUCE BY BUDDING. THE FIRST COMMANDMENT OF THE GREAT BLOB GODDESS IS - DIVIDE AND MULTIPLY. *NO DOUBT YOU WISH TO BECOME A SLAVE RACE OF THE SPEMIN. WE ARE A RACE OF HIGH MORALS AND ARE AGAINST SLAVERY, BUT SINCE YOU FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT IT WE MAY BE WILLING TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION. *OF COURSE YOU STARE IN WONDERMENT AT OUR BEAUTIFUL ANTENNAE. THESE ANTENNAE ALLOW US TO GET 32 CHANNELS WITH NO NEED FOR CABLE. IN ADDITION THEY PICK UP THE COSMIC VIBRATIONS THAT GIVE US OUR GOD-LIKE POWERS. THEY ALSO HAPPEN TO BE VERY FASHIONABLE. *THERE IS A SAYING AMONG THE SPEMIN THAT SUMS UP OUR WHOLE PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE. IT IS - BLUKBLUK DURT, SMEG! ROUGHLY TRANSLATED IT MEANS "QUIVERING PARTICLE SECRETES ENZYME." THIS IS JUST A ROUGH TRANSLATION. *HISTORICAL FACT SHOWS US THAT THE SPEMIN ONCE RULED THE OLD EMPIRE. THE FACTS SHOW US THAT THE HUMANS WERE OUR SUBJECTS.... I MEAN OUR SERVANTS.... I MEAN OUR SLAVES. YES, THAT'S IT; THE FACTS SHOW US THAT THE HUMANS WERE OUR SLAVES. *NO OTHER RACE CAN KNOW THE PLEASURES OF A SPEMIN. AHH, TO ENGULF A FRESH GLOB OF PROTEIN SUBSTANCE, TO BOUNCE A NEWLY BUDDED BLOBBIE ON ONE'S PSEUDOPOD. TRULY THE OTHER RACES ARE DEPRIVED. *WE SPEMIN LIVE TO THE AGE OF 600. SOME OF THE OLDEST SPEMIN PERHAPS TO 1000. IN YOUR ARTH YEARS THIS WOULD EQUATE TO....UH....APPROXIMATELY....4. *THE BRAIN OF A SPEMIN IS THE MOST COMPLEX THING IN THE UNIVERSE. IN FACT, IT IS SO COMPLEX THAT OUR SPEMIN DOCTORS HAVE, AS YET, BEEN UNABLE TO DETERMINE THE EXACT LOCATION OF IT IN THE SPEMIN BODY. *Certainly our races have been friends since ancient times. In the war of the first wave we fought as allies against the Phlegmak and Numlox, side by side, back to back, singing our songs of friendship. *Our race worships and honors your kind. How wonderful it must be to be stiff and upright. We look upon you almost as gods. No, as more than gods, as... Well, whatever is more than a god. *In the year 2675 the old empire discovered our homeworld and uplifted us from a state of moral, intellectual, and emotional depravity to the divine state we are in now. We have been meaning to thank you. *We have been unjustly picked on by all the other races. We mean well, and only want to be liked, but all the other races in the galaxy keep interpreting our intentions and blowing up our ships for no reason. *We're really just a happy-go-lucky race of zany guys. I know, call us crazy, but I guess we're pretty lovable. Other Races: *DO NOT WASTE OUR TIME WITH UNIMPORTANT QUESTIONS. OBVIOUSLY OURS IS THE ONLY IMPORTANT RACE. *We do not know a great deal about other races. For some strange reason they tend to stay away from us. Of course we will gladly tell you what we know. *The Velox are an arrogant race of insects. We have found that by pretending to worship them sometimes they will not destroy us. Of course you must not think we are only pretending to worship you, (Captain's Name). I give you the Spemin word of honor. *There is a race of machine humans. We do not understand their behavior. There is also the plant race and the reptile race. These races hate and despise each other. They fight and kill. This we understand. *The Gazurtoid are a race of aquatic creatures who are what you might call.... Insane fanatics. They believe it is their destiny to cleanse the universe of, if we may use their term, 'blaspheming heretical low-life air-breathing scumdogs'. *As you must know, the Numlox and Phlegmak were the first races to attack from the core. Later came the Uhlek and the Gazurtoid. When the old empire spurned us, their loving and devoted children, we were forced to pretend allegiance with the Gazurtoid. *All the Gazurtoid ever do is spout their religious rhetoric. Being diabolically clever we have managed to convince them that we are water breathers. We have done this by sitting in pools of water whenever we communicate with them. *The Gazurtoid possess effective shielding against missiles. It is necessary to attack them with lasers. Our brilliant scientists are working on this puzzle. They are just on the verge of a major breakthrough. *Of course the Gazurtoid are really no match for our warships. In fact, they copied the design from us. The Uhlek, on the other hand come a little closer to matching our strength. *We have tricked the Gazurtoid into telling us many things. We happen to know all about the Uhlek. Not many races know about the Uhlek, but of course no other race has the awesome mind of a Spemin. *The Uhlek are not many creatures, but one. It is simply spread out in space. The Uhlek have a central mind-ganglion. It is a massive thing buried deep within a planet. If it was destroyed the Uhlek would be helpless until another one developed. *To destroy an Uhlek mind-ganglion it is necessary to destroy an entire planet. Of course we could destroy an entire planet if we chose to. Unfortunately we have a law against destroying planets, so some other fearless, powerful race shall have to do it. *The mind-ganglion planet of the Uhlek is the life-bearing planet in the system 55,32. Destroying it should be a trivial task. We are almost tempted to do it ourselves. Old Empire: *THE OLD EMPIRE IS OF NO IMPORTANCE. OBVIOUSLY WHAT YOU WISH TO KNOW ABOUT IS OUR RACE. SUCH FOOLS. YOU THOUGHT TO HIDE THIS FROM US. *WE DESTROYED THE OLD EMPIRE BECAUSE THEY DID NOT OBEY OUR COMMANDS. THERE IS A LESSON HERE FOR YOU TO LEARN. *We were once a part of the old empire, as were the Velox, the Thrynn, and the Elowan. Your kind has unjustly forsaken us, we who have nothing but respect and admiration and yes, even love for your people. For shame. The Ancients: *THE ANCIENT ONES WORSHIPPED US AS DO ALL THE OTHER RACES. PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT OUR RACE. *WHO ARE YOU TO DEMAND INFORMATION FROM US? THE ANCIENT ONES WERE NOTHING COMPARED TO THE SPEMIN, JUST AS YOU ARE NOTHING. *There are many ruins of the ancients in Spemin territory. In fact, there is a great city of the ancients in a nebula just outward of our home planet. Of course, this is secret, and any Spemin would die before he would reveal this. General Info: *DO NOT PLAY GAMES WITH US. IF YOU WISH TO KNOW ABOUT OUR GREAT SPEMIN RACE JUST ASK. *YOU REQUIRE INFORMATION? HERE IS SOME INFORMATION. YOU WILL DIE VERY SOON. PLEASE LET US KNOW IF YOU NEED MORE INFORMATION. *There is a secret way into Uhlek territory. The first jump point is at 106,139. The second is at 64,186. And the third is at 35,186. Do not try to do this though. Anyone but a master Spemin navigator would get lost. *Alright......You have forced it out of us. We have heard of the existence of a Veloxi Focusing Stone on the first planet of the system 81,98. We have been unable to....I mean we have chosen not to find it though. *We Spemin are wise beyond imagining. For example, we happen to know that the ancients built a device called a crystal pearl which automatically warps a critically wounded ship out of danger. This is just one of many things we know. ---- NEXT: Gazurtoid PREVIOUS: Elowan TOP ----